Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts

Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex Review

Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex
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Yes, I am a man, a man who has been married to the same woman for 35 years. And a man that has been married only once. With that said, I dropped this book into my wifes stack at the book store on a whim. I then found it was really written for women. Oh well, I'll read it anyway. Wow. Profound may be an over emphasis, but not much. When I finished, I handed it to my wife and told her "I would give anything to be treated by a woman like this". We have a good marriage and we have a good sex life (read "good" :). Let's just say, this made some "positive" changes in our relationship. Thank you Debra and Don Macleod!

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The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life Review

The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life
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I recently re-read Roger Lowenstein's biography, Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist (first published in 1995 and now re-issued with a new Afterword), and then read this more recent one by Alice Schroeder. Both are first-rate. Which to select if reading only one? That depends on how much you wish to know about Buffett's personal life, including his relations with various family members, and how curious you are about his personal hang-ups, peculiarities, eccentricities, fetishes, etc. If you can do without any of that, Roger Lowenstein's biography is the one to read. I also highly recommend the recently published Second Edition of The Essays of Warren Buffet: Lessons for Corporate America, with content selected, arranged, and introduced by Lawrence Cunningham.
The heft of Schroeder's biography may discourage some people from obtaining a copy. To them I presume to suggest that they not be deterred by that factor. Schroeder has a lively, often entertaining writing style that drives the narrative through just about every period and (yes) interlude of Warren Buffett's life and career thus far. There is much more information provided than most readers either need or desire. However, she had unprecedented access not only to Buffett but to just about everyone else with whom he is (or once was) associated as well as to previously inaccessible research resources. It is possible but highly unlikely that anyone else will write a more comprehensive biography than Schroeder has, at least for the next several years, if not decades. Also, her opinion of Buffett seems to me to be balanced and circumspect. No doubt he wishes that certain details about his life and career were not included. However, there has been no indication from him or those authorized to represent him that any of the material in this biography (however unflattering) is either inaccurate or unfair. Both halos and warts are included.
Others have shared their reasons for holding this book in high regard. Here are two of mine. First, although I had already read various Buffett's chairman's letters that first appeared in a series of Berkshire Hathaway's annual reports, I did not understand (nor could I have understood) the context for observations he shared, especially his comments about especially important 12-month periods throughout BRK's history. Schroeder provides the context or frame-of-reference I needed but previously lacked. For example, whereas in previous letters, Buffett merely offered brief updates on how each BRK company was doing, in 1978 he began to share his thoughts about major business topics such as performance measurement for management and why short-term earnings were a poor criterion for investment decisions. With the help of Carol Loomis, especially since 1977, his chairman's letters "had grown more personal and entertaining by the year; they amounted to crash courses in business, written in clear language that ranged from biblical quotations to references to Alice in Wonderland, and princesses kissing toads." As Schroeder explains, these gradual but significant changes of subject and tone reflect changes in Buffett's personal life as he became more reflective about business principles and more appreciative of personal relationships. His children were growing up and departing the "nest" in Omaha. His wife Susie decided to relocate to San Francisco. Meanwhile, his personal net worth continued to increase substantially. His national and then international recognition also increased. The "Oracle of Omaha" had finally become sufficiently confident of himself to reveal to others "a sense of him as a man."
I also appreciate how carefully Schroeder develops several separate but related themes that help her reader to manage the wealth of information she provides. The biography's title suggests one of these themes: the "snowball" effect that compounded interest can have. From childhood when he began to sell packs of gum (but not single sticks) and bottles of soda, and a money changer was his favorite toy, Buffett was fascinated by the way that numbers "exploded as they grew at a constant rate over time was how a small sum could be turned into a fortune. He could picture the numbers compounding as vividly as the way a snowball grew when he rolled it across the lawn. Warren began to think about it a different way. Compounding married the present to the future. If a dollar today was going to be worth ten some years from now, then in his mind the two were the same." Early in life, Buffett avoided making any purchases unless they were almost certain to generate compound interest. This theme is central to understanding Buffett's investment principles and to his own leadership of BRK. It also helps to explain why he could become physically ill when an investment cost others the funds they had entrusted to his care. Other themes include his determination to simplify his life to the extent he could (e.g. eating hamburgers and wearing threadbare sweaters, minimizing participation in family activities) so that he could concentrate almost entirely on business matters; his dependence on a series of women, beginning with his mother and two sisters (especially Doris) that continued with his first wife Susie (and their daughter "Susie Jr.") and then companion Astrid Menks whom he married in 2006; and his passion for helping others to understand the business principles to which he has been committed since childhood.
There is one other theme of special interest and importance to me: over the years, how Buffett has interacted with various associates, notably with Jerome Newman and Benjamin Graham, Sandy Gottesman, Charlie Munger, Bill Ruane, Katherine Graham, and Bill Gates. By all accounts, Buffett is a superb business associate once he agrees to become involved. He cares deeply about each relationship, does whatever may be necessary to protect and defend the best interests of his associates, and is extraordinarily generous with material rewards as well as recognition. Here is an especially revealing excerpt from Cunningham's Introduction to The Essays of Warren Buffett: "The CEOs at Berkshire's operating companies enjoy a unique position in corporate America. They are given a simple set of commands: to run the business as if (1) they are its sole owner, (2) it is the only asset they hold, and (3) they can never sell or merge it for one hundred years." These three "commands" are wholly consistent with what Lawrence explains earlier in the same Introduction: "The central theme uniting Buffett's lucid essays is that the principles of fundamental business analysis, first formulated by his teachers Ben Graham and David Dodd, should guide investment practice. Linked to that theme are management principles that define the proper role of corporate managers as the stewards of investment capital and the proper role of shareholders as the suppliers and owners of capital. Radiating from these main themes are practical and sensible lessons on the entire range of important business issues, from accounting to mergers to valuation." Those who shared Buffett's same core values of honesty and integrity, and who are also committed to the same basic principles, cherish their relationship with him.
To me, Alice Schroeder's rigorous and eloquent analysis of this theme of mutually productive and beneficial collaboration is her single greatest achievement among many in this definitive biography of one of the most important and yet least understood business leaders in recent years. Bravo!

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The Ride of a Lifetime: Doing Business the Orange County Choppers Way Review

The Ride of a Lifetime: Doing Business the Orange County Choppers Way
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I first learned about Paul Teutel, his family, and his business several years ago through my son's fascination with everything motorized and "cool." We wached the reality TV series "American Chopper" together. My son liked the bikes and the characters, and I liked the characters and the bikes (some a lot more than others).
For the uininitiated, Orange County Choppers is a behemoth of a brand built by a unique man who has worked for himself almost his entire adult life. In fact, his biography is so fascinating that I found myself wishing to read more about him and his family; I had to remind myself that this book is a business philosophy book, not a biography.
Mr. Teutel credits his mega-success to relentless hard work and a passion for perfection. Most of his business principles are as well-known and as they are difficult to live by daily. Surround yourself with good people and reward them well, treat everyone with integrity, and embrace change while adhering to core values. The book is peppered with vignettes fo business decisions made, partners acquired and replaced, and descriptions fo situatinos that illustrate the points well. The book also includes a set of glossy photos of Teutel history and motorcycles.
Teutel posits that "everyone" expecte dhim to end up dead or in jail from an early age. His childhood in a very dysfunctional family included an addiction to alcohol and drugs at the age of 15 than lasted 20 years. His father and grandfather demanded relentless labor from young Paul. His father demanded, and Teutel paid, rent to his family during his adolescence. Merchant marine boot camp (at age 18) gave him his first opportunity to set a goal and achieve it.
Goal-orientedness coupled with hard work is a powerful combination which Teutel weakened with alcohol and drugs until he was 35. He credits Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) with helping him achieve abstinence from drugs and alcohol for 24 years.. Demanding sobriety of hs partners and employees changed his iron works business and positioned it for growth. He turned over the iron works business and set to building motorcycles as a hobby in the early 1990s.
Ultimately, he invested his $120,000 retirement in the business that became Orange County Choppers (OCC). OCC is now an international brand operated from a 100,000+ square foot headquarters in suburban New York.
Teutel is ambivalent about his family's involvement in his business. One son took over the iron works and is apparently doing well. Two sons, Paul, Jr. and Michael, work with Dad at OCC. "American Chopper" viewers know the stormy relationship they have. While Dad always wanted his business to be a family business, he observes that things come too easily to Paul, Jr., making him casual if not lazy about deadlines and organization. "Mikey" is a lovable youngest brother with multiple interests and a good sense of humor but little ambition. Dad says that family businesses are the backbone of the economy, but that family can't be managed in the workplace like other employees, and that hurts the family members. He acknowledges the connundrum and apparently sees it as one of the few design problems he was unable to resolve.
One of the book's key messages is that it's never too late to resolve to be better - to become focused, passionate, and goal-oriented to pursue success. Hmm...my now-teenage son might read this book before a lot of other self-help/business success books. That's a good thing.

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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work Review

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work
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Let me first express that I typically have great condescension for most "self-help"-type books. Most of them seem very intent on getting one to do yoga or meditation or breathing exercises....activities I'm just not naturally inclined to do. This book, in contrast, suggests improved perspectives and outlooks. So, it is "intellectual" in that way, rather than the typical "touchy-feely." It provides gentle, insightful wisdom into modifying the only things you can control: your own outlook, your own behavior. Quite frankly, I'm very impressed by this Richard Carlson. This book was exactly what I needed to help me through a very negative phase of my career as a government lawyer, with bizarre stressors coming from every direction, including judges, opposing attorneys, and peers. I can't say this book made me glad that I became a lawyer, but it helped quell the storm. This book is written so that virtually anyone can understand it, and yet it contains brilliant insights and what I would have to almost call "ultimate truths." Some of them are so obvious that it's disconcerting I couldn't identify them by myself; others are more transcendental, and Carlson very sagely unveils the phenomenon and associated principles.
I think anyone in a stressful work environment would benefit from reading this book. I read it very closely and highlighted about half the book. I know it will take some time for me to assimilate all of the suggestions, but this book planted the seeds and should surely help me cope better in the future with work-related difficulties.
You should be forewarned: you'll probably realize a lot of your stress is self-induced. I found myself cringing with the sudden realization of several self-destructive behaviors which I've had through the years. I think you need to be particularly open to effectuating personal change and breaking out of bad habits. For example, I never previously thought of myself as a "back-stabber"; instead I thought of myself as a rhetorically amusing and insightful critic and identifier of "office realities." Carlson really sensitized me as to the need to be circumspect about any kind of negative commentary about others, bearing in mind that whatever one says about someone or something is inevitably going to be spun by office gossips into the most negative light conceivable. That results in tension and resentment and stress. I now try to reserve my commentary (usually humorous anecdotes) about co-workers, etc. to acquaintances far outside my office. He also really brought home to me the principle of the destructive effect of complaining and griping about one's job; all that is accomplished is that one's negative view is reinforced, emphasized, perhaps even exaggerated by those other parts of your mind that hear you complaining. It becomes a vicious, snow-balling cycle of discontent. I suspect a lot of people intuitively think of it as "ventilating" one's frustrations and being helpful as such. I try now to not complain (in my case it was about boredom and the lack of professional growth). This has freed me up to seek out a remedies both inside and outside my employment scenario.
But, I cite the above only as examples. Carlson lays his recommendations out in 100 small chapters. I would say I learned something very useful from about 80 of them. I am very confident the long-term professional benefits will be significant. We're living in a very stressful time and a stressful culture. Focusing on the art of managing stress is almost mandatory if you want to thrive.

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Carlson shows readers how to interact more peaceably and joyfully with colleagues, clients, and bosses and reveals tips to minimize stress and bring out the best in themselves and others.

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The Mind of the Soul: Responsible Choice Review

The Mind of the Soul: Responsible Choice
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This wonderful book explains the value of making choices bearing the consequences in mind. This is responsible choice and Gary Zukav has got it right. I recommend this book because it helps readers take control of their lives. All we have is the power of choice. We can't control others, even though we may influence them (if they are open to that). I also suggest another brilliant book, Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self which shows you how to accept what is out of your control and make the best choices from what is in your control. In Optimal Thinking, you are provided with simple roadmaps to overcome all painful emotions (anxiety, helplessness, anger, guilt, disappointment, envy, hurt, loneliness etc.) and strategies to create your best life. Both of these books are must reads!

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Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes: The Ultimate Guide to the Opposite Sex Review

Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes: The Ultimate Guide to the Opposite Sex
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The basic attempt with this book was to use sex differences - which are all the rage these days - to make a relationships self-help book. The self-help stuff requires the usual and worn-to-death case studies of couples, followed by nice/neat explanations showing us just how simple all this really is, while the sex differences material requires a more expository approach, discussing the latest in brain research, etc. The net result is that instead of being coherent, the book comes across as being schizo, like it can't decide which kind of book it really wants to be. Or maybe the two different authors wrote different chapters. In other words, some of the book is good, a lot of it is so-so, and the rest not so great. At times it's even ridiculous.
The sex differences stuff is so watered down and simple-minded as to be virtually ludicrous (not to mention useless). Men are one-track minded hunters and women are caring/nurtering gatherers in this black and white universe. Consequently, they're able to give simple and definite answers to nuanced questions and situations which are, of course, a little more complicated than they'd like to think.
In spite of a page in the intro making one think the authors are sympathetic to men, the net portrayal is of belching, farting, dirty-joke telling louts who won't put the toilet seat down, ask for directions, or let go of the TV remote - just like in any sitcom. There's even a section on "retraining your man". The section on lieing starts out by assuring us men and women lie in equal amounts, but then devolves into illustrating all the ways men lie to women. I suppose we could have guessed from the cover being 70% pink that this book was mostly aimed at a female audience and therefore needs to constantly remind them how superior they are to men. And there's some misleading info on how much men need/want women, for example it's stated without qualification that any/all sex for men is good, though I can assure the authors that most men know very well the difference between good and bad sex, and all the shades between.
I found annoying all the plugs and mentions scatterd thru the text of the authors' previous book. Also annoying were sentences that I'd just read repeated in bold type in between paragraphs, like I'd missed them the first time; though sometimes these bold face bits have quotes or not-too-funny jokes. Altogether this wasn't a very good book. Maybe 2 1/2 stars max.

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Do you know the top seven things men do that drive women nuts? Or the real reason women cry more than men do? What are men really looking for in a woman—both at first sight and for the long-term? These are only the starting points for Barbara and Allan Pease as they discuss the very real—and often very funny—differences between the sexes. Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes takes a look at some of the issues that have confused men and women for centuries. Using new findings on the brain, studies of social changes, evolutionary biology, and psychology, the Peases teach you how to make the most of your relationships—or at least begin to understand where your partner is coming from. They help women understand why men avoid commitment, what drives them to lie, and how to decode male speech to find out what they are really saying. They explain to men why women nag, how they use emotional blackmail, and how to understand (and take advantage of!) the top-secret scoring system all women apply. They also dish about the top turn-ons--and turn-offs--for both sexes. Laced with their trademark humor, Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes addresses a host of nitty-gritty battlegrounds as well, from channel surfing and toilet seats to shopping and communication. Already a #1 bestseller in the United Kingdom, Germany, Japan, Holland, Spain, Brazil, Portugal, Belgium, Ireland, France, Czech Republic, India, Singapore, Malaysia, South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia, Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes is the answer to understanding the opposite sex.

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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff--and it's all small stuff (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series) Review

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff--and it's all small stuff (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series)
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The cover of this book says it was a bestselling book of the year at one time. After opening it up and glancing through it, it't not hard to see why.
The pupose of the book is to get you to look at things, common situations we all come across everyday, like being criticized or being given more work than you can possibly finish, and see them a little differently. Believe it or not, it delivers- and in just a page or two at a time if you can believe that!
That's because the wisdom is definitely there, on every page, and it just plain makes sense. Many times I've read a chapter or two and thought, "Why didn't I think of that before?".
The other good thing about this tiny book is that you could either sit down and read it cover-to-cover, or just pick it up once in awhile and pick a random chapter to read. Either way, the mini-chapters are sure to quickly leave most readers wondering why they make such a big deal out of the things they do. Other short self-help books I like include "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World".

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The Committee: Man's Inner Voices and Who Left the Toilet Seat Up? Review

The Committee: Man's Inner Voices and Who Left the Toilet Seat Up
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this book is so funny, real, and helpful that i bought 10 of them for gifts i also plan on giving one to my therapist i'm sure she will be happy to promote it!

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A humorous novel about a man with a committee of voices to guide him. The Committee is in a constant state of turmoil and continually creates havoc. The members include Ego, Fear, Guilt, Sex, Finance, Relationships, plus a new member who attempts to lead the wayward Committee onto a new life path. The results are life changing, hilarious and resemble "The Secret", if written by Jose Cuervo and Captain Morgan on a Saturday night.

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Please put the toilet seat down and 49 other cluetoons to help him improve your relationship Review

Please put the toilet seat down and 49 other cluetoons to help him improve your relationship
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The small things in life can add up to more than people know. "Please Put the Toilet Seat Down: and 49 Other Cluetoons to Help Improve Your Relationship" is a series of charming illustrations and simple advice from the author and illustrator team of Darcy Frew and John Blair Moore. Simple things that can be done to make a relationship better are the topic, and each would do well to be read by a couple. "Please Put the Toilet Seat Down" would be a great gift to anyone who needs a tad more help being considerate.


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Please put the toilet seat down and 49 other cluetoons to help him improve your relationship is the first relationship self-help book that combines humor with common sense guidance to improve relationships between women and men. Each subject matter in this book includes an illustration termed a cluetoon, which is a cartoon that is intended as a humorous example of a commonly observed behavior thereby suggesting a better approach. This edition is designed for women to give to their significant other as a non-confrontational, sensitive way to communicate necessary changes in their mate s behavior. All 50 cluetoons not only provide a good chuckle, but also a gentle tip on how their mate may want to make adjustments in their behavior in order to improve their relationship. Topics covered in the book include housework, children, finances, career, appreciation, consideration, intimacy and many more.

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